Next time "Gay Paree" hits, here's a mighty useful trick for dealing with the should-have-kept-their-day-job poets - toss an orange in while they're versing. BAM!! Instant wall, shuts them right the hell up.
Ducked the orange? Make like the Lone Ranger and follow up quick with silver.
Trust me, this stuff really works and your ears will thank you for it.
- Mood:
mischievous
We smell, we stink, we all need a bath,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
But say that we're smelly and you'll feel our wrath,
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We're sexist, we're racist, we lack in tact,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
We tried holding jobs but were instantly sacked,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We cheat on our taxes, stay up all night,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
Too dumb to debate, we'd rather just fight,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We smoke, we spit, we drink to excess,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
The first guys with earrings, what's next, a dress?
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We started out good, but ended up bad,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
A big disappointment to Mommy and Dad,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
- Location:Sailing merrily along
- Mood:
silly
Whoo-wee! Raggedy Ann and the teddy bears know how to throw a party. Great spread with eleven different kinds of jelly. Music. Dancing. Games. Everybody having FUN! Good times slowed for a minute when a damn cat head popped out of nowhere and swiped the cucumber sandwiches; another plate got brought out and good times were on again.
Speaking of good times, the jury's still out on whatever's moving in next door.
- Location:Library
- Mood:
pooped
Hmph. Damn cats around here are like strings because every yo-yo wants one.
Anybody noyo-yosapply looking for a job, the Library's got an opening for Head Librarian. The work's okay, pay's pretty decent, Front Desk has a comfy chair and you get all the coffee mugs Ianto Jones left behind.
- Location:Library
- Mood:
accomplished
Sheesh! City's crabbier than a seafood restaurant.
I'm not saying everybody has to be Merry Sunshines, but think of the doors getting slammed every two minutes - that's hard on the framework.
- Location:Library
- Mood:
chipper
Damn fireworks. No self respecting dog welcomes the New Year from under a bed. Hmph.
Rain, I'm heading over right now to your place of peace and quiet.
- Mood:
aggravated
Del or somebody I KNOW, would be on the other side NOT ignoring me. *grrr* There's something's fishy around here and it's not a Denmark cat!
- Location:Library
- Mood:
determined
Quickie Tips for Dealing with Carousel Menagerie Gone BAD:
Number One - Fiberglass; sledgehammer to a leg will slow it down.
Number Two - Got wood? Use fire and torch the head, blinding it.
Number Three - Brass rings grant free rides or wishes with good menagerie. On these baddies...like crosses are to vampires? Err, skip this tip.
Number Four - Use One or Two for buying yourself time to RUN LIKE HELL and HIDE!
Number Five - Skip Three or sign your own Death Warrant.
- Location:Library
- Mood:
hopeful
The Butter Battle is over. Cheer up. I mean, life's too short, even in this place.
- Location:Library
- Mood: chipper
Once upon a time, in who-knows-where-the-hell-we-all-are, there's a public library with hungry dog inside. Yes, dear sweet readers who-know-they-can't-eat-all-that-Hallowe
- Location:Library
- Mood: hopeful
Mister Ranger, sir! I'm really happy for you and Jellystone, but the City's got the best smarter than the average bear of all time!
Come on guys, lighten up. He's dishing out wisecracks not raiding your kitchens.
- Location:Library
- Mood: pleased
Don't want to play musical chairs? Well then, don't sit at the table. Find a comfortable spot on the ground and a Marsupial Family member will come, serving up all the tea and cakes you want.
Before leaving, give your server a nice tip. Mine was "Don't play leapfrog with a rhinoceros".
- Mood:
full
Yesterday was a good-bad day. Good, for all the free food a dog could eat! Bad, because water-turned-beer got into the coffeemaker and three bottles of white vinegar later aren't doing squat. Ianto's realllyyy not going to like this.
How's your head treating you, Kay?
- Location:Library
- Mood: cheerful
- Location:Library
- Mood: silly
Opening a thrift store? Got a fetish? Know any cobbling elves looking to help some poor old guy out? Barefoot? Hate breaking in new shoes? Are your missing comfortable favorites still missing?
Come on down to the Library and get a pair or two or more for FREE! You heard it right, F-R-Double E!!
All were found hidden all over the Library by yours truly. Don't ask me-not-a-Prince why they didn't poof away at midnight.
- Location:Library
- Mood: accomplished
Hmph. Human faculties aren't doggie friendly at all!
Give my tail for a docile stretch of park land right about now. Hell, I'd even settle for AstroTurf poofing into the lobby.
- Location:Library
- Mood:
uncomfortable
Yestercurseday wasn't too bad for something kind of violent. I mean, nobody got taken to the emergency ward and that's a big positive right there.
Next time though, guys, lets try for ball chasing. It's lots more fun for everybody and less bruising all around. Mmkay?
- Location:Library
- Mood: optimistic
Is this thing on? *tap-tap* Test, test, testtinnng onetwothreeeee.... Hullo everybody and good morn-ing! Just a friendly reminder: Eddie's making his rounds, please not to be blocking the aisles - thank YOU!
*fumbling again then cut to music*
- Mood: chipper
- Location:Library
- Mood: optimistic
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